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TOPIC: WalMart Doctor

WalMart Doctor 10 years 10 months ago #4514




Wal-Mart has everything!


One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a doctor."

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.

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"I create controversy whether they like it or not!

www.your-leaking-house.com/

www.badstucco.com

Re: WalMart Doctor 10 years 10 months ago #4542

LOL

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Dominic Maricic
Home Inspector Pro Home Inspection Software - CEO

Re: WalMart Doctor 10 years 10 months ago #4575

What aisle handles #5?

My Walmart stocks (US and Mexico ADR) are kicking butt too...

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Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia
www.jaymarinspect.com
Northern Virginia Home Inspector
Festina Lente - Make Haste Slowly

Re: WalMart Doctor 10 years 10 months ago #4576

#5

Customer service

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"I create controversy whether they like it or not!

www.your-leaking-house.com/

www.badstucco.com

Re: WalMart Doctor 10 years 10 months ago #4580

I can tell you, at the WalMart near my house, that's a big yucko...

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Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia
www.jaymarinspect.com
Northern Virginia Home Inspector
Festina Lente - Make Haste Slowly

Re: WalMart Doctor 9 years 2 months ago #34527

5 good ones

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The Charlotte Home Inspector
www.thecharlottehomeinspectors.com
Home inspections in Charlotte, Monroe, Mooresville, Gastonia, and Concord.
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