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TOPIC: My Weirdest Inspection Ever -- Can You Top This?

My Weirdest Inspection Ever -- Can You Top This? 15 years 1 month ago #8220

Recently I was asked about the weirdest inspection I have ever done. That was an easy one!

Years ago I pulled up to a very well maintained property. Not much unusual at first glance – white siding, black roof, black shutters, window and door trim. As is my custom, I looked at the outside and met my clients when they arrived to walk around again with them. It was time to go inside.

The Realtor opened the door and everyone invited me to go first. I wondered about the nervous giggling behind me. They wanted to see my reaction.

The door opened to the living room. The carpet and ceiling were black. The walls and the furniture were all white. The pictures on the walls were all framed in black, containing black and white photos and art. I turned around to laughter. The look on my face must have telegraphed volumes! What is this?!

I proceeded into the dining room. It was opposite the living room – the carpet and ceiling were white. And the walls and furniture were black. The pictures on the walls were framed in white, and again, with all black and white photos and art. The plates and such in the black cabinet were white, as was the bowl in the center of the black table. The “fruit” in the bowl was black and white.

I am not kidding…


The hallway off the other side of the living room was opposite the living room scheme. The bedrooms off the hall were opposite the hall. All the black and white carpets abutted perfectly. Door frames were opposite the walls, bedroom furniture opposite the carpets. I probably don’t need to mention the colors of the clothing in the closets…

The whole house followed like this! Curtains and blinds were appropriate for the room, black or white, even with patterns.  Pillows and throws the same - opposites of what they accented.  Everything was very coordinated.

There were two bathrooms. The hall bath had white floor and fixtures, with the black wall tile, all opposite the hallway outside. The master bath was opposite the other bathroom and the master bedroom, with black floor and fixtures and white wall tile. The floors in both were black and white tile checkerboards.

The kitchen was very interesting! It had a black floor and black ceiling (opposite the adjoining dining room) with white counters, cabinets, back splash and appliances. The small appliances on the counter were a mix of black and white.

The house was meticulously maintained, everywhere. There was very little to report on during the inspection. Any colors in the house, things such as brooms, books, tools, detergent boxes, cleanser bottles, etc, were behind closed doors or inside cabinets. No color met the eye. Anywhere.

The crowning finish was the two car garage! Exactly half was entirely painted white and the other half entirely painted black. There were black cabinets, shelves and pegboard on the white side, with the opposite on the black side. On the black side was parked a white car. The car on the white side was missing.

I am going to bet that car was not blue… but that is just me…

Everyone reading this has seen their share of, um, interesting décor. And quirkiness! Can you top this!?

My recommendation:
Different strokes for different folks. Live and let live!

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Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia
www.jaymarinspect.com
Northern Virginia Home Inspector
Festina Lente - Make Haste Slowly

Re: My Weirdest Inspection Ever -- Can You Top This? 15 years 1 month ago #8226

All I gotta say is WOW!  Don't they have a Psychological term for that?  lol

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HLC Home Inspections LLC
www.OklahomaHomeInspector.biz
We are a licensed inspector for the state of Oklahoma.?  Our focus is Oklahoma City, Moore, Mustang, Yukon, Tuttle, and many other areas surrounding OKC.
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Re: My Weirdest Inspection Ever -- Can You Top This? 15 years 1 month ago #8236

Jay,
What part of the Twilight Zone is it that you inspect in? Would have loved to see the pictures. Did you use black and white film?
;D

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Bob Hintze
Waypoint Property Inspection, llc
www.atampahomeinspector.com

Tampa Florida's Premier Home Inspection Company Serving Greater Tampa including Ruskin, Riverview, Brandon, Tampa, Wesley Chapel and All Surrounding Areas. 813-486-8551

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Re: My Weirdest Inspection Ever -- Can You Top This? 15 years 1 month ago #8238

Jay,

was this before or after a heavy meal.....you must wait 45 minutes after eating before you inspect anything.

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Re: My Weirdest Inspection Ever -- Can You Top This? 15 years 1 month ago #8261

I'll see your weird, and raise you a ..... gulp.

Did an inspection on Ted Bundy's childhood home today.  Besides the two large barrels of what looked like dirt, hidden up in a nook of the attic:  the hay / meat hook hanging in the attic by the chimney:  or the tire iron squeezed between the chimney foundation and an old furnace in the basement:  or the chains hanging from the galvanized plumbing vent in the basement:  and the boxes of personal effects in the storage room upstairs marked, "Teddy's stuff".......

Well let's just say, I was very glad that the buyer's had as sick a sense of humor as myself and their Realtor.  They are already planning their Halloween party. 

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There is nothing sweeter than the smell of fresh cut grass on a baseball infield, the click of a wooden bat and the taste of a hot dog at a warm sunny daytime double-header.

Re: My Weirdest Inspection Ever -- Can You Top This? 15 years 1 month ago #8263

If there's a psychological term for this condition, it probably contains a lot of Latin and is 17 letters minimum. 

Hey, I liked the Twilight Zone a lot!  Even one room alone would have been weird, but a whole house?  And my mother used to yell at us for swimming too soon after eating - she isn't around to say anything about inspections, but, Mark, you are probably right.

Stephen!  Yikesers!!  Gotta wonder what he (or the family) had hanging from a meat hook in the attic.  Was there really a box?  That can't still contain his stuff, can it?  The Spanish word, "Ayayayayayayay," kind of comes to mind!  That isn't simply weird, it needs a modifier - Freaky, Super, Kim Il Jong, Sick.  Sick might not be a good one, it sometimes has the opposite connotation (I've seen the Orange County Chopper show...).

Geez!!  Go to bed Stephen!

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Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia
www.jaymarinspect.com
Northern Virginia Home Inspector
Festina Lente - Make Haste Slowly
Last Edit: by Jay Markanich.
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