• 888-750-4777
  • This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Welcome, Guest
Username: Password: Remember me

TOPIC: Best Divorce Letter -ever

Best Divorce Letter -ever 16 years 1 week ago #4471



Dear wife:

      I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you

forever I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell.  Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.  Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a

brand new pair of silk boxers.  You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to

sleep after watching all of your soaps.  You don't tell me you love me

anymore;  you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband &

wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore;

whatever the case, I'm gone.

      Your EX- husband

P.S. Don't try to find me.  Your SISTER & I are moving away to

West Virginia together!  Have a great life!

***

Dear Ex-Husband,

      Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.  It's

true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry

from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping. Too bad that  doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.  And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.  About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.  After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica , but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the  fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

    Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was

born Carl.

I hope that's not a problem.

Please Log in to join the conversation.

"I create controversy whether they like it or not!

www.your-leaking-house.com/

www.badstucco.com

Re: Best Divorce Letter -ever 16 years 1 week ago #4472

That's awesome!!

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Brian O'Keefe
O'Keefes Home Inspections LLC
www.okeefeshomeinspection.com
Serving Grafton, Menomonee Falls, Waukesha, Milwaukee, West Bend and surrounding areas

Re: Best Divorce Letter -ever 16 years 1 week ago #4477

Ew?

Can I get an all around ew?

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia
www.jaymarinspect.com
Northern Virginia Home Inspector
Festina Lente - Make Haste Slowly

Re: Best Divorce Letter -ever 16 years 1 week ago #4489

LOL. Ewww

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Dominic Maricic
Home Inspector Pro Home Inspection Software - CEO

Re: Best Divorce Letter -ever 16 years 1 week ago #4493

P. s. to Carl -

In West Virginia they have 2 million people and 23 last names...

Please Log in to join the conversation.

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia
www.jaymarinspect.com
Northern Virginia Home Inspector
Festina Lente - Make Haste Slowly

Re: Best Divorce Letter -ever 16 years 1 week ago #4494

P. s. to Carl -

In West Virginia they have 2 million people and 23 last names...


Ouch!

I wish the names in the story had not been what they are for my sake anyway.

Please Log in to join the conversation.

"I create controversy whether they like it or not!

www.your-leaking-house.com/

www.badstucco.com
Time to create page: 0.177 seconds
© 2004-2024 Home Inspector Pro Inc. All Rights Reserved.