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November 21, 2008, 11:02:17 PM *
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Author Topic: A guy walks into a restaurant  (Read 613 times)
Dominic Maricic
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« on: July 01, 2008, 05:54:13 PM »

This actually was sent to me by Harvey Sansoucy (another Home Inspector Pro) user via email.

A man walks  into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.  The  waitress asks them for their orders.
 
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
 
 "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
 
A short time  later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40  please," and the man reaches into his

pocket and pulls out the  exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A  hamburger, fries and a coke."
 
The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
 
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
 
This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
 
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
 
"Same," says the ostrich.
 
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
 
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
 
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me,  sir. How  do you manage

to always come up with the exact change in your  pocket every time?"
 
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.

When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My  first wish was that if I

ever had to pay for anything, I would  just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money 

would always be there."
 
"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most  people would ask for a million dollars or something,

but you'll  always be as rich as you want for as long as you  live!"
 
"That's right. W hether  it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is  always

there," says the man.
 
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"
 
The man  sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick  with a big butt

and long legs who agrees with everything I  say."








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Dominic Maricic
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Jay Markanich
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« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2008, 08:44:05 PM »

"So", he says to the horse, "why the long face?"
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Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC
Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia
www.jaymarinspect.com
Northern Virginia Home Inspector
Festina Lente - Make Haste Slowly
Stephen Stanczyk
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« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2008, 02:24:23 AM »

Dom,  I like your picture.  Did you dump the glasses and get contacts?
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2008, 02:26:30 AM »

Flattery will get you no where. I'll be kicking your butt in Fantasy Football tomorrow.
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2008, 03:34:22 AM »

You should be so lucky.  You are going down......  Regarding your picture..... If you add a bow tie, you would look just like Tucker Carlson.   Grin
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2008, 03:40:09 AM »

Hmm, I do see the resemblance.
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2008, 07:17:16 PM »

Oooh Doooommmmm......  How is your football team doing today???  Hmmmmmm?

Nothing funnier than a nerd trying to talk trash.  Give up and try rap music instead.....
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2008, 08:27:58 PM »

Hmm, 84-79 right now, with the nerds leading. Looks pretty damn close to me. Better keep your fingers crossed.
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2008, 11:39:51 PM »

Hey Nerd Boy......  You posting tonight or licking your wounds from your whuppin ?
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2008, 11:42:10 PM »

4 points aint no whuppin. You got lucky and you're still below me in the rankings. I'll see you again in the playoffs and won't be showing any mercy!
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2008, 11:57:21 PM »

Don't forget, I still have a player going tomorrow night.... I keep telling you.....you need to stop asking Sarah Palin for line-up advice.....  You betcha....
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2008, 12:00:32 AM »

Hey she got me to 2nd place, you're way back in... what , 6th?
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2008, 12:24:40 AM »

You know I figured you brainiac types would be able to look at numbers and figure things out...  based on this weeks LOSS, you are in 3rd, I am in 4th, a game behind. 

See guys..... this is what trash talking is about.  Dom and I are having fun poking at each other and even though he was the BIG LOSER this week, it doesn't mean he is a weenie or a wimp  or a ..... nevermind.
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Dominic Maricic
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« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2008, 12:27:23 AM »

No, but it does still mean I'm a place ahead of you Cheesy
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Dominic Maricic
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