"I'm Just Calling To Say You're An Idiot"

[Jay Markanich]

On inspections, I often leave my card and write something on it.

Sometimes it says, "The ice in the bin was not made by your ice maker, shame on you."  But that was another story in another post.

Usually it just says, "Please call me with any questions."  Not all home inspectors would invite this.  I do.

This practice has gotten me other inspections in the past with either the sellers or agent of the property I inspected.

This time it got me a call.

"Is this the inspector?"  "Yes.  This is Jay."  "I'm calling to say you're an idiot!"

This I had to hear!  With a big smile, I simply said, "Go on."

"You say there's rotting on my bay window!?  I went outside and there is none!  NONE!!  You inspectors just say things to say them!  You have no business reporting things that don't exist!  You haven't been in business very long, have you!?  And you won't BE in business very long because you're an idiot!"

I could have heard him from across the room.  There is a bay window on each side of the house.  My report clearly pointed out the bay window behind the bush and beside the telephone equipment, to distinguish it from the bay on the other side of the house...

So I thought I'd have some fun with it.  "Did you read my report?" "No, all I have is a faxed copy of the addendum and they are asking that the bay window be fixed!"  "Sir, I reported rot because there is rot.  But I'll tell you what.  I will pay you $1000 toward repairs on your house if you go back outside and find no rot."  "I'LL TAKE THAT BET!  AND I WILL PAY YOU $1000 IF THERE ISN'T ANY, HOW'S THAT!!??"  "Fine.  And be sure to check the bay I mentioned in my report, the one behind the bush and next to the telephone equipment, on the other side of the house.  Please call me back!"  "I WILL!"

Below is what he saw.

See the bush to the left?  And one of the two phone boxes to the right?

Of course my pen wasn't there.

I could have stuck my pen all the way into the house!

He never called back.

And I am still waiting.

I'm sure he'll call any minute now.

The episode reminded me of a saying in Spanish - Mucho tacto y mucho ojo ántes que se meta la pata.

That means, essentially, to have tact and keep your eyes open before you stick your foot in it.

I cannot tell you how tempted I was, and I mean with a bad angel on each shoulder (!), to call him back and yell (like he yelled):

WHO'S THE IDIOT NOW!!

But I won't.

My recommendation: Show some upbringing and use some tact when you call a home inspector!

Sometimes we actually know what we are talking about...

[Ian Niquette]

Good job Jay. That is why, and I'm sure you do this as well, I have inserted in several spots on my report, in large type, "Please Read The Entire Report, ": or something to that nature. But that doesn't always happen, so we maintain out composure and take it like a man.

[Jay Markanich]

In my experience, Ian, few do.  When someone calls to ask a question I commend them for actually paying attention to the report!  I think what they are most interested in is the addendum generated by the realtor.

[Ian Niquette]

Very true Jay. I know how much you like blogging, so you need to take a look at Kevins' new forum. Looks like it could be interesting, it is brand new. Try it, maybe you'll like it.
http://www.real-estate-forums.net/content.php

[Jay Markanich]

What is Kevin's last name?  Who is he?

[Ian Niquette]

Kevin Pierce, you may have read some of his stuff on AR. He is into property management I believe. He is from Washington state. Not sure what his overall goal with the forum is, but it has a pretty easy to use interface, and might take off someday. Never know.

[Casey Patten]

I think I'd have been on the floor laughing...nice job Jay of not falling apart!    I leave my card and a short letter, explaining who I am, what I did, and asking them to let me know if they have questions or if anything isn't left as I found it.  So far, haven't had anyone call, so either I'm doing a decent job or "Minnesota-nice" is too overpowering! 

Hurry up and get over to Real-Estate-Forums.net...Ian and I (and Kevin) are the only guys doing the bulk of the posting!  I'm sure it'll get better, it's a very easy format to use.

[Jay Markanich]

Casey - I am on so many forums now, and managing three blogs and my AR stuff.  I haven't time to do another one.  I am really busy at work, and then I have family, church and Scouts on top of that.  Time is time...   

[Dominic Maricic]

Jay, did you send him your $1000 bill yet?

[Doug Diller]

Jay, Are you talking about leaving a card for your client or for the homeowner?  The reason I ask is because in OR I could leave a card for the home owner but I would not be able to tell them anything about what I found.  So I couldn't write something about their house on the card. 

[Jay Markanich]

Doug - I leave a message when I find a dangerous condition, like a gas odor or something.  Every now and then people try to cover up the broken ice maker with phony ice and I make a comment to the sellers.  Here is a post:

http://www.homeinspectorpro.com/inspector-forum/Interior/1344-Ice-See-You/

If I know the sellers are still looking to buy a house I leave my card or make it a point to speak with them.  I pick up a lot of business that way.

Here the sellers and their agent receive a copy of the report by virtue of the VA sales contract, but not from me.  They receive it from the buyer's agent.  Once they see my report and how I do things they often call me back too, and I pick up business that way.